I think karma is coming back to get me...

Mortification. For me anyway.

Some background - I am a huge klutz. Huge. If you know me you know this. If you don't, well now you know. I think it's the curse of the lanky people. I trip over my own feet. Sometimes I just topple over because I get distracted. I have all these "phantom" bruises from bumping into things. The bruising is not hard because I bruise very easily. But you'd think one of these days when I see a corner or an edge of something coming at me I might, you know, MOVE.

I'm also almost always inappropriately dressed for the weather. Especially cold or inclement weather. I blame my California state of mind. Although I have been known for being inappropriately dressed for the weather there as well. Now that I think about it, perhaps I just automatically go into denial when it's cold, or raining, or (glup!) snowing.

Thirdly, people in Colorado, particularly natives and those who have lived here a really long time, *hate* people from California and Texas. So much so that my girlfriend (from Texas) and I (from Cali) used to have regular debates on who the people here hated more - her or me. So if you're smart, you blend in. Or at least pretend.

Yesterday here was freaking phenomenal. March was kind and came in like a lamb. It was a gorgeous and sunny and 72 degrees. I spent my day in a cute tank and my newly-loose jeans. I was having one of those "I feel super cute about myself" days and figured I'd show it. Especially since I'm feeling better about myself than I have in a very long time. **This is important to note later in the story.

Of course, this being Colorado and all, the beautiful weather was short-lived. Overnight we got a typical March snow storm and woke up to heavy, slushy, icy, wet snow. Needless to say it's freaking cold out today and I've been slip-sliding all over the place. And getting up my steep driveway is a joke. Still, my annoyance that yes, it still is winter didn't do much to dampen the "I feel super-cute-ness" so I figured I'd wear a similar outfit today, just throw on my leather jacket (bad idea #1 - looks great, but warmth factor in the wind is zilch and I ended up buying another hoodie I did not need to add some warmth) and the new boots I picked up over Christmas (bad idea #2 - no grips, so not the best idea today), so I'd look more "not-California."

But still cute.

Which makes the boring-ass task of shopping for a baby gift not so painful.

Which is all well and good until you leave the store and the icy-cold wind hits and goes through your poorly-planned (but cute, dammit!) outfit like a bunch of icy cold daggers, and in your rush to get into the car as quickly as possible and crank the heater, you hit what you think is just wet pavement and turns out to be ice with that non-grippy boot and fall flat on your ass in front of a bunch of people who based on the mumbled comment of (must've just moved here) are the aforementioned snotty "natives." And sadly, the weight loss that has made me feel so cute has also resulted in the loss of, erm, "padding" that would have prevented bone from hitting the ice, cold, pavement. I am gonna have the mother of all bruises. It'll match my bruised ego I guess.

I am mortified. I'm sure tomorrow I'll think it's funny. Er. Maybe. But I have a sneaking suspicion it's karma biting me in the ass.

Oh and super-cute-ness? WAY overrated. Way.

No comments: