You know you're in Stepford when...

You visit a (very overpriced, IMO) garden center and you spy with your little eyes a big sign letting customers know that (for a fee, of course!) they'll be happy to plant your flowers and such in your containers/container garden for you.

Yes, you read that correctly. Your eyes do not deceive you.

Now given, I realize I was visiting a garden center on the south side. The south side is soooooooo Stepford-y it's not even funny. But come on! Why bother going through the trouble to hand-select all your (overpriced) flowers and fillers, and not to mention the perfect (albeit overpriced) pot if you're not going to plant them yourself? At that point you may as well just shell out the extra dough and buy a pre-made container garden and just take all the rest of the joy out of your quasi-gardening experience. Apparently all the Gucci-mamas can't bear to get a spec of dirt in their perfect manicures.

In all honesty, I can't begrudge the garden center from trying to make an extra buck or two. Clearly there are people who are willing to shell out for this service, otherwise they probably wouldn't bother. I guess I just don't get it. but then again, manicure or not, I actually like digging in the dirt and planting my own stuff. Whatever floats your boat!

You know you live in Stepford when...

... they've got crews of workers *vacuuming* the sand off the grassy areas that line the major streets.
Glad to see my HOA dollars being put to good use.

Open Letter to My Neighbor

Ok. Christmas is over. The goose has gotten fat. And eaten. We were all quite pleased to put a penny in an old man's hat. Now for the love of all that is Noodly, will you just admit defeat and take that tangled mess of clumped up lights off your poor tree? Clearly they didn't make it up in time for Christmas and I doubt the other neighbors would be too thrilled for you to leave them up until next Christmas.