3.27.2008

The aftermath.

For anyone who's wondering, I did get on that plane and I did go home. It wasn't great but it wasn't bad for the most part. Things finally, FINALLY got somewhat settled.

Huge changes that have already been churning are in motion. For the good or for the bad. I now know what challenges lie ahead for me and I'm ready to take them on. One by one. And I am taking the high road.

Sadly, I've learned the hard way who my friends really are and they aren't who I thought they were. Trusts have been not only compromised, but totally and completely violated. This will never happen again I promise you. Next time I will choose wisely.

As some very, very wise women have advised me, I am choosing joy. I pretty much already have. The joy may have been a bit clouded in the process, but it's there. Totally there. I am choosing joy in my life. Not meaning that everything must be insanely happy, but to find joy in the little things. Every day.

In fact, to remind me as such I think the Chinese character for "joy" will be my new tattoo. That and replacing "tranquility." That little chain of random, teeny, characters I toyed with getting across my back but never did? I think now I should.

I am also making a concerted effort to populate my life with those who bring me joy. It is far, far too short to surround myself with people who don't. I am fortunate to have many in my life who bring me joy. I am thankful each and every day for their presence and am making an effort to be sure they know this. As far as those who don't. Well. Sad to say it just might be time to make a big purge.

I may write about things here. Some things may never see the light of day. I'm hoping from this point forward things will become less angry. More reflective. More contemplative. More observational. Which was the original intent of this blog. Well that and a platform for me to rant and muse about random shit. As of late it's turned into a vent-fest. Which I guess serves the purpose of a blog, but really only creates the illusion of a train-wreck that people can't help but want to sit and watch the carnage. I don't want to be a train-wreck. I deal with enough of those as it is and frankly I don't just don't want to be one.

3 comments:

Lee said...

Well done.

Martha said...

Good for you!!! Choosing Joy is really the only path worth taking.
Stay Strong, neighbor! :)

D said...

Stay strong, little one. Be the bigger person and never lose sight of that joy. -D